


Yodel Toasters, Or Why You Shouldn't Let The Doctor Buy You Kitchen Appliances

by Bobcatmoran



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Spelunx
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor, Potentially Deadly Kitchen Appliances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobcatmoran/pseuds/Bobcatmoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor gave Amy and Rory a toaster, because that's what you give early 21st century newlyweds. Of course, this being the Doctor, the toaster has a few quirks he forgot to tell the Ponds about. Hopefully makes sense to those who didn't grow up playing Spelunx.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yodel Toasters, Or Why You Shouldn't Let The Doctor Buy You Kitchen Appliances

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this makes sense to those who didn't grow up playing Spelunx. For those who didn't, I'm just going to say that the competition the Doctor describes is an actual mini-game. And it is glorious. You can watch a video of Spelunx gameplay [here](http://youtu.be/AqjSiEEKmW8). The toaster minigame is at 4:40.

A cup of English Breakfast tea, a new copy of _Tik-Tok of Oz_ fresh from 1914 — the perfect accompaniments to a quiet day in the TARDIS, if the Doctor did say so himself. He leaned back in his chair, carefully propped his feet up on the console (carefully, because there was that one time he'd hit a row of switches by accident with his foot, and reversing back the artificial gravity had been … interesting … to say the least), and settled in.

Two and a half pages later, the phone rang. The Doctor flailed, nearly tipping over in his chair, before running to the other side of the console and, with a quick glance at the caller ID to make sure it wasn't another salesman trying to sell him double glazing, picked up the phone.

"Hello, Pond!" he exclaimed. "How are you?"

"Hello, Doctor," Amy said. "Doing well. But…"

"But?"

A faint _Ka-chuck_ followed by an, "Ow!" from Rory could be heard in the background. "That toaster you got me and Rory as a wedding present. Where exactly did you say it was from?"

"You're not actually using it to make _breakfast_ , are you?" the Doctor asked, horrified.

"Um, yeah, that's kind of what toasters are for. Making toast," Amy said.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," the Doctor said, pacing as far as the phone cord would let him and throwing up his free hand in exasperation. "That's a competition toaster. You don't use it for, for making yourself toast and jam!"

"A competition toaster," Amy repeated.

"Yes, in fact, I don't think it's even safe for using indoors."

"It did put a bit of a dent in the plaster," Amy admitted. "I didn't know white bread could do that. So, it's what, an outdoor-only competition toaster? What does that even mean?"

"It's a Seudo-craft original, meant for the Yodel Toaster competition on the Yoyon Isle of Rand III. You launch your toast into the air, run with your toaster, and try and catch the toast back in the slot."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, no. I believe they give extra points for rye. More challenging aerodynamics."

There was a pause, while Amy seemed to be digesting this bit of information. "All right then," she said decisively. "I guess we'll just use it for … decoration. Or something."

"Good choice. Remind me to take you two to the Yodel Toaster competition next time I see you. It's not to be missed, and I can introduce you to Mister Seudo and Professor Spelunx — lovely chaps, the two of them, very fond of Earth children's literature for some reason."

"Will do. I'd better go find the spackle and help Rory patch up the ceiling."

"Right then, I'll leave you to your ceiling patching. Talk to you later, Pond."

"Later, Raggedy Man."


End file.
